funk

I am in a funk. Going on about a week or so. I can't shake it. I don't know what has me grasped so tightly that I can't move on and be me, or who I think is me. I wonder if I am the only one in this world, my own little world. Sadness, wonder, happiness, eagerness, bold, bitchy. I can't pick one, they are all warped around me, pulling me deeper. Friends at work notice, family notices and now I notice. I was on the phone with Mom last night and it was like I was on auto pilot. She had more to say then normal. I on the other hand, spoke no more than, "Umhmm, yep, nope, I don't know, nope nothing new, yes I am tired, yes I am stressed. I can't wait to come home in July too." I mean seriously, what the hell is that? I couldn't even carry on a conversation.
I am trying not to drink. I didn't plan to hash this out on here, but shit this is my blog, I can talk how I feel is important. Worried about judgement from others, but that is me. I don't want to escape into a drink all the time and I felt that my path was leading there. ok done with that part of my schpeel.
dead end. so many thoughts. where do I put them. how do I put them. I should just stop, waste of a post perhaps but don't know where else to turn.

Now his name is Tucker!

After much discussion, arguing, hurt feelings, etc. We have changed the pups name to Tucker. Tanner sounded too much like Hannah and she turned every time we tried to call him. So we changed it.
Today was his first day home alone and we don't kennel him during the day. I was anxious all day to see the mess I would find upon returning home. Wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, that is for sure. He pooped downstairs by the remote controls for the x-box, but it wasn't all that bad. He tore apart a box of Kleenex and some papers from the table. Hopefully no bills, otherwise I will have to tell them my dog ate the bill and I can't pay :) Ha, if only. He was so excited to see Jacob and I when we got home today, he jumped all over us and licked us too! Jacob took him out to potty and he ran around and was loving the fresh 60 degree weather out there.
Tomorrow will be nicer at 70 degrees! Work was crazy today after missing a day and a half with the flu last week. It was good busy, but crazy for a Monday.
Ryker popped his first tooth thru this Saturday and he is making many new expressions. I love watching him grow. Again, I think I am savoring it more than the other children, due to Ryker being the last baby of ours. I don't want to miss a thing! His chin is getting a bit chapped from all the slobber going there.
Well, Tucker is terrorizing Jacob, so I must go. But, so far I am enjoying this new chapter. He curls up by my legs at night and keeps me warm!

his name is Tanner!!

After seeing twelve dogs, multiple kisses, puke all over my lap, six hours of driving, and a few really happy children, we have a new pet. His name is Tanner and he is a Dorkie. Yep, you read that right. Mix of Dachshund, Maltese and Yorkie. But, he looks more Dachshund than anything. He is very laid back and cuddly. As badly as Jacob wanted Tanner to sleep in his bed, the little guy slept with Matt and I between our legs. He is only four months old, but potty trained and very well behaved.
He loves Ryker too, which is great. He kisses him all over. So now we are a family of six, can you believe it?

In other news, Jacob is only six days away from being 8. This is nuts if you ask me. I can't believe how old he and how many years it has been since I had him. He and I have been through everything together. More than anything, he has my heart and I look forward to watching him grow.

new family member?

no, I am not pregnant. We are talking about a four legged bundle of love. We are seriously considering adopting a pet. Daycare just got a new mini-pinscher/chuaua (spelling??) and I heart him. We have been contemplating a dog for the family, but this made me push it. We are going to our local humane society to get started. It isn't going to be an overnight decision. We really want to be prepared for this change in the family. The kids really want a pet, so that is important. But, in order to adopt, they have rules. One of them being that each family member must meet the pet before an adoption is final. I think that is great. To make sure everyone is in agreement and understands what this means.

Ryker is really trying to figure out how to get up on all four. I think crawling could be in our near future. He gets frustrated when his arms give out and he face plants the carpet. But, he will get there. They always do.

Jacob is on Spring Break this coming week. He is excited for the break and some outdoor time. Hopefully the weather holds out so that they can get fresh air.

Today it is suppose to be 70 degrees out. I am super stoked. I plan on cleaning the van out and my garden needs to be cleaned up as well.

Hannah is starting a new pre-school when she is with her dad every other week. She is very excited and I think it will be good for her. Now, I should probably start looking for one here, so that we are consistent with her upbringing.

That is about it for now. I need to jump in the shower so that we can get over to the shelter. I need to get my oil changed too.

Oh, we had a new credit manager start at work yesterday. Yep, it is not me. But, that is ok. I think he is nice. I don't know that he can handle "K" in our department, but that will be the true test I suppose. I just hope he can provide the leadership and everything that we desperately need in that department. His wife has brain cancer. She has for three years. Someone new for me to pray about. He seems like a very optimistic person. You would have to be. I look forward to what the future holds now. A new chapter in my career.

Have a wonderful weekend and get out to enjoy the weather!

My loveys~