Sorry, since I got home on the 20th or whatever day that was, the headache returned. I can't beat and can't be out of the house for a full day. I try to work, but it gets to a point where the pain is too much, I can't keep my eyes open, or like today, I start a fever. Yep, so on top of the headache, I have a low grade fever. I came home and slept again. Sleeping seems to be all I do anymore. At least it seems like it. Yesterday, I slept from 2pm-5pm, again from 8pm-5:45am today, and yes, headache still there. I still feel exhausted, no amount of sleep is helping and I am mad. Mad would have to be my word of choice right now. Frustrated too.
I am waiting for my records that were mailed out on the 24th, to get to Neurologist #2, for an appointment for a 2nd opinion. Apparently mail within the same city, is a fucking joke. They should have had it next day, but not in Omaha NE. They probably send it to Denver first. ha
That is all I have, I am crabby and nobody wants to read a crabby person bitch about everything.
June 26, 2008
June 20, 2008
Finally home
I finally got a hold of my Dr. on Wednesday at 2:30. He said "Good news, no stroke, tumor, or aneurysm." "You just have Chiari 1 Malformation, no big deal." Really, because last time I checked, it wouldn't be a problem if NOTHING was wrong, but this to me seems to be a problem. They admitted me that night. After several narcotics and me bitching and moaning about everything, my headache went away yesterday afternoon. However, they wouldn't let me leave. Oh and the neurologist that I met, total asshole, completely. Very sarcastic and bitchy, kind like me.
I was finally booted out this morning to come home and I am much happier here. So I think I am suppose to continue on as if there is nothing wrong. Oh and if you don't know what Chiari 1 is, it is where your brain stem/bottom of brain starts going down into your spinal column. That is what I understood of it. I also have a mild case of Hydrocephalus. Which is a build up of fluid.
So I am back and alive. I will be getting a second opinion, because well, when there is something wrong in the area of, oh say your brain, I believe a second opinion would be good.
Thanks for all the good thoughts!
I was finally booted out this morning to come home and I am much happier here. So I think I am suppose to continue on as if there is nothing wrong. Oh and if you don't know what Chiari 1 is, it is where your brain stem/bottom of brain starts going down into your spinal column. That is what I understood of it. I also have a mild case of Hydrocephalus. Which is a build up of fluid.
So I am back and alive. I will be getting a second opinion, because well, when there is something wrong in the area of, oh say your brain, I believe a second opinion would be good.
Thanks for all the good thoughts!
June 18, 2008
"It is not a migraine......" WHAT?????
For the first time since I was diagnosed with migraines over 23 years ago, my doctor told me yesterday that he didn't think it was a migraine. One that is going on it's fifth day. I finally gave in and went to my doctor to find relief, since none of my medication could even dull the pain. He thought at first I had a pinched nerve that was causing my new symptoms, which included tingly feeling on my right side and a cold sensation on the right side of my face. Apparently those aren't migraine related.
As I sit and type this, bare with me, as it all seems surreal at this point.
Doc gave me a shot of Tordal for the pain. It wasn't working, only making me drowsy. At that point I was sent down for a CT Scan to "make sure" everything was OK in my head. Upstairs again to wait for my now worried husband, and the Doc to give the results. Right before Matt walks in, my doctor explains that, "They found a mass/collection of cells at the stem of my brain. Said mass is rated on a scale of 1-4. At this point, with the CT readings, they thought it was at about a one." I asked point blank if this was bad, he said it has that potential, yes. He suggested that I come back in the morning (today) to get an MRI done of my Cervical Spine and Brain. But, since it was so late (5:00), he would schedule it out. Not more than five minutes later, he comes in and says that he has me scheduled stat. I also receive a shot of Demerol, Tordal, and Phenergen, to again try to help with the pain. After all these shots and a small touch of relief, Matt and I "float" down to the Diagnostic Center once again.
Matt was worried about someone watching the children so that he could be with me, but I told him honestly, to just pick them up and wait at home until I call. He can't be in the testing with me anyway, so he should just take care of them and not let on that anything is wrong. Jacob is too smart for my own good, and I don't need my 8 year old worrying about his mother right now. I have enough worry to go around for everyone.
I slept on and off through the MRI and finished up at about 6:00pm. At this point I decide to drive the mile home on my own, I needed fresh air and be by myself for a minute. My wonderful friend at this point had rushed to the house to help Matt out so that he could come up to the hospital. But, I was on my way already, she waited with Matt.
At this point, we had dinner and I tried to make everything as normal as possible for the kiddos, even though the worry on our faces was probably obvious.
I slept off and on all night, with a sleeping pill that didn't help. I took the day off today to wait for that phone call. I can't go to work and concentrate anyway, so I thought I would just hang out at home for the word.
Of course Matt talked to his mom, the nurse, who just graduated with her Master's as a Nurse Practitioner. She stated that if it is fluid on my brain, that the surgery is very common. They would remove my first vertebrae, release the fluid and insert a shunt. No biggie. HA. Whether or not this is common, it would be on top of my spinal cord, wherein lies the risk. But, really, I can't sit here and contemplate what I don't even know for a fact right. Right.
There are a million things going through my head right now, but they don't have a destination. I am waiting for an explanation of what is wrong, what do we do, and what next.
So I am patiently, or not, waiting to hear from the doctor's office. Shouldn't they put these things as the first priority, to call their patients that are barely sitting still, wondering what is happening in their head and give them an idea of what is happening. I would think so, but I don't have that degree to be able to make it happen.
So.I.Wait.
As I sit and type this, bare with me, as it all seems surreal at this point.
Doc gave me a shot of Tordal for the pain. It wasn't working, only making me drowsy. At that point I was sent down for a CT Scan to "make sure" everything was OK in my head. Upstairs again to wait for my now worried husband, and the Doc to give the results. Right before Matt walks in, my doctor explains that, "They found a mass/collection of cells at the stem of my brain. Said mass is rated on a scale of 1-4. At this point, with the CT readings, they thought it was at about a one." I asked point blank if this was bad, he said it has that potential, yes. He suggested that I come back in the morning (today) to get an MRI done of my Cervical Spine and Brain. But, since it was so late (5:00), he would schedule it out. Not more than five minutes later, he comes in and says that he has me scheduled stat. I also receive a shot of Demerol, Tordal, and Phenergen, to again try to help with the pain. After all these shots and a small touch of relief, Matt and I "float" down to the Diagnostic Center once again.
Matt was worried about someone watching the children so that he could be with me, but I told him honestly, to just pick them up and wait at home until I call. He can't be in the testing with me anyway, so he should just take care of them and not let on that anything is wrong. Jacob is too smart for my own good, and I don't need my 8 year old worrying about his mother right now. I have enough worry to go around for everyone.
I slept on and off through the MRI and finished up at about 6:00pm. At this point I decide to drive the mile home on my own, I needed fresh air and be by myself for a minute. My wonderful friend at this point had rushed to the house to help Matt out so that he could come up to the hospital. But, I was on my way already, she waited with Matt.
At this point, we had dinner and I tried to make everything as normal as possible for the kiddos, even though the worry on our faces was probably obvious.
I slept off and on all night, with a sleeping pill that didn't help. I took the day off today to wait for that phone call. I can't go to work and concentrate anyway, so I thought I would just hang out at home for the word.
Of course Matt talked to his mom, the nurse, who just graduated with her Master's as a Nurse Practitioner. She stated that if it is fluid on my brain, that the surgery is very common. They would remove my first vertebrae, release the fluid and insert a shunt. No biggie. HA. Whether or not this is common, it would be on top of my spinal cord, wherein lies the risk. But, really, I can't sit here and contemplate what I don't even know for a fact right. Right.
There are a million things going through my head right now, but they don't have a destination. I am waiting for an explanation of what is wrong, what do we do, and what next.
So I am patiently, or not, waiting to hear from the doctor's office. Shouldn't they put these things as the first priority, to call their patients that are barely sitting still, wondering what is happening in their head and give them an idea of what is happening. I would think so, but I don't have that degree to be able to make it happen.
So.I.Wait.
June 9, 2008
June 8, 2008
Of tornado's, crawling, teeth, and more.....
So apparently Omaha had a tornado last night. We never heard the sirens, we slept through them. Though I was awake with Ryker when it was about to hit, I never noticed. It hit way west of us, but took a roof off and threw trees into houses, uprooted some even. Bad thing is, the tornado came at the front of the storm, so there was near no warning for those in the path. Normally the tornado drops at the end of a storm, or maybe even in the middle, but not likely at the start. I pray those affected get back on there feet soon. Praise the Lord, nobody was injured.
Ryker started to really crawl two days ago. Now he thinks that if he has that down, he should start pulling up on coffee tables and exersaucers. Please dude, enjoy the crawling for a moment, just for our sake, please? He also head butted a rocking horse tonight, gave himself a shiner. But, you should see the rocking horse!! kidding.
I think he has another ear infection, so I might have to get him in to the doc tomorrow. We will see. The cough is back to, I hate to hear him suffer so. One nice thing about a sick baby, is that the normally active mover, likes to cuddle, even took a nap with me today. Really nice I thought.
Jacob lost his other, top front tooth tonight. Eating cheesecake of all things. He told me not to worry about the money, he knows the fairy is me. Thanks bud, a couple bucks in my pocket for now, but a dream lost for one child. So now I spose Christmas, Easter, and all else is out the door. Poo, why do they grow so fast?
I talked to a great friend of mine Friday for the first time in months. She has three kids, a step son, and a foster daughter. Her hands are full. I have three and I don't know how she does it. I miss her and I feel rotten for not seeing her newest addition. Her daughter Ryan is five months old, and I haven't met her. Yet, her oldest daughter is 8 and I was there when she was born and often during her younger years. I hate that time does that to relationships. Where you once had the time to be there for all of it, first birthdays, weddings, babies, then time takes and you just don't see those people as much as you should.
I am frustrated with my church today. I can't even say "My church" because I have been going for over a month now and just don't feel the bond I thought I would. At first, when it was new, and we were new, it was great. People reached out and welcomed us, but now that I have been several times, they just don't. I also feel it being clicky when I was hoping for something far from that. And tell me why, when I ask two dedicated members, including the pastor's wife, why I can't find a bible study to join? I mean seriously, they can't even tell me where I could find one to be a part of. I am reaching out here, trying to deepen my belief and better my life and I have been dropped at the wayside.
I am going to try a different one next weekend. We will see what that brings. I don't go to church to sit and be preached at, I go to feel a part of and feel moved.
Ryker started to really crawl two days ago. Now he thinks that if he has that down, he should start pulling up on coffee tables and exersaucers. Please dude, enjoy the crawling for a moment, just for our sake, please? He also head butted a rocking horse tonight, gave himself a shiner. But, you should see the rocking horse!! kidding.
I think he has another ear infection, so I might have to get him in to the doc tomorrow. We will see. The cough is back to, I hate to hear him suffer so. One nice thing about a sick baby, is that the normally active mover, likes to cuddle, even took a nap with me today. Really nice I thought.
Jacob lost his other, top front tooth tonight. Eating cheesecake of all things. He told me not to worry about the money, he knows the fairy is me. Thanks bud, a couple bucks in my pocket for now, but a dream lost for one child. So now I spose Christmas, Easter, and all else is out the door. Poo, why do they grow so fast?
I talked to a great friend of mine Friday for the first time in months. She has three kids, a step son, and a foster daughter. Her hands are full. I have three and I don't know how she does it. I miss her and I feel rotten for not seeing her newest addition. Her daughter Ryan is five months old, and I haven't met her. Yet, her oldest daughter is 8 and I was there when she was born and often during her younger years. I hate that time does that to relationships. Where you once had the time to be there for all of it, first birthdays, weddings, babies, then time takes and you just don't see those people as much as you should.
I am frustrated with my church today. I can't even say "My church" because I have been going for over a month now and just don't feel the bond I thought I would. At first, when it was new, and we were new, it was great. People reached out and welcomed us, but now that I have been several times, they just don't. I also feel it being clicky when I was hoping for something far from that. And tell me why, when I ask two dedicated members, including the pastor's wife, why I can't find a bible study to join? I mean seriously, they can't even tell me where I could find one to be a part of. I am reaching out here, trying to deepen my belief and better my life and I have been dropped at the wayside.
I am going to try a different one next weekend. We will see what that brings. I don't go to church to sit and be preached at, I go to feel a part of and feel moved.
June 5, 2008
Randomness~
1. Where is your cell phone? kitchen
2. Your significant other? Matt
3. Your hair? shortish
4. Your Skin? fair
5. Your father? ill
6. Your favorite thing? family
7. Your dream last night? audition
8. Your favorite drink? water
9. Your dream/goal? Nurse
10. The room you're in? living
11. Your ex? friend
12. Your fear? unfaithfulness
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? RN
14. Where were you last night? bed
15. What you're not? violent
16. Muffins? blueberry
17. One of your wish list items? freedom
18. Where you grew up? Colorado
19. The last thing you did? dinner
20. What are you wearing? sweats
21. Your TV? tornado
22. Your pet(s)? Tucker
23. Your computer? old
24. Your life? well
25. Your mood? great
26. Missing someone? bro
27. Your car? gasless
28. Something you're not wearing? boa
29. Favorite Store? Target
30. Your summer? hot
31. Like someone? hubby
32. Your favorite color? pink
33. When is the last time you laughed? now34. Last time you cried? Sunday
2. Your significant other? Matt
3. Your hair? shortish
4. Your Skin? fair
5. Your father? ill
6. Your favorite thing? family
7. Your dream last night? audition
8. Your favorite drink? water
9. Your dream/goal? Nurse
10. The room you're in? living
11. Your ex? friend
12. Your fear? unfaithfulness
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? RN
14. Where were you last night? bed
15. What you're not? violent
16. Muffins? blueberry
17. One of your wish list items? freedom
18. Where you grew up? Colorado
19. The last thing you did? dinner
20. What are you wearing? sweats
21. Your TV? tornado
22. Your pet(s)? Tucker
23. Your computer? old
24. Your life? well
25. Your mood? great
26. Missing someone? bro
27. Your car? gasless
28. Something you're not wearing? boa
29. Favorite Store? Target
30. Your summer? hot
31. Like someone? hubby
32. Your favorite color? pink
33. When is the last time you laughed? now34. Last time you cried? Sunday
June 4, 2008
Poor Girl~
Hannah just isn't getting a break. Her dad tried to take her back to daycare today. That only lasted an hour. They called to let him know that she was getting a bad rash and would like him to come and take a look. He ended up taking the day off, again. Turns out that it started with a rash, turned into her eyes, face, and lips completely swelling up. Terribly. He sent a picture and you couldn't ever recognize her. She is allergic to Omnicef too now. The Dr. prescribed Zithromax, but she can't start that until Friday, which is enough time for the first to get out of her system. Until that point, she is on a lot of benedryl to take care of the reaction.
She is in good spirits again, but it took everything in me not to race to Lincoln and scoop her up. I am going on a week and half with not seeing her, and now this.
On another note, I made my first batch of homemade salsa today. Sad thing, I had to call my friend and ask the difference between Cilantro and Parsley, because I wasn't sure which one I needed. Ditz. Oh well. Jacob helped me put it all together and it was delish! I even have extra for tomorrow. Next time I want to add corn and/or black beans. I think that would be good.
It is bad weather again, stormy tonight, tornadoes to the west and east of us. I heard the other day that Omaha is under a pollution pocket and it won't allow the tornado to hit the center of the pocket. I am ok with that if true.
We leave for Colorado in 36 days, and I am so absolutely excited!!! We got an awesome suite, that is two stories. That in itself, for a family of five, is dreamy. Not that we will be in the suite but to sleep, it is nice.
I had a terrible migraine last night that is still fogging my head a little. I crashed on the couch at about 6:45, Matt woke me at 7:45 and I went to bed until 4 this morning.
Not much else here. I am in a wonderful mood. And, the best part? It is not drug induced!! Meaning, that I weaned myself off of my Post-Partum/Depression/don't want to be a crazy person the rest of my life, meds. I have been off for about a week and doing well.
Good night all......sweet dreams.
Luanne
She is in good spirits again, but it took everything in me not to race to Lincoln and scoop her up. I am going on a week and half with not seeing her, and now this.
On another note, I made my first batch of homemade salsa today. Sad thing, I had to call my friend and ask the difference between Cilantro and Parsley, because I wasn't sure which one I needed. Ditz. Oh well. Jacob helped me put it all together and it was delish! I even have extra for tomorrow. Next time I want to add corn and/or black beans. I think that would be good.
It is bad weather again, stormy tonight, tornadoes to the west and east of us. I heard the other day that Omaha is under a pollution pocket and it won't allow the tornado to hit the center of the pocket. I am ok with that if true.
We leave for Colorado in 36 days, and I am so absolutely excited!!! We got an awesome suite, that is two stories. That in itself, for a family of five, is dreamy. Not that we will be in the suite but to sleep, it is nice.
I had a terrible migraine last night that is still fogging my head a little. I crashed on the couch at about 6:45, Matt woke me at 7:45 and I went to bed until 4 this morning.
Not much else here. I am in a wonderful mood. And, the best part? It is not drug induced!! Meaning, that I weaned myself off of my Post-Partum/Depression/don't want to be a crazy person the rest of my life, meds. I have been off for about a week and doing well.
Good night all......sweet dreams.
Luanne
June 3, 2008
It's about time!
I am out of my funk. It took over a month, but I needed the break. Matt calls it jokingly, my shoulder deep funk. haha honey.
Work is really busy. My co-worker might be moving onto another job and I would be left as the sole Credit/Accounting person. That is fine, it will be crazy, but I will make it.
The kids started a new daycare and it is AWESOME!!! They are a bilingual child care center and they teach Spanish daily at four. I think this will help Jacob immensely in being able to focus on something that he is interested in. Ryker loves it and they spoil the heck out of him there.
Hannah is pretty much living full time with her dad now, due to preschool and our agreement with the divorce. It sucks. In fact, I have had a hard with it. I can barely go into her room when she is not here, without bursting into tears. She came down with strep throat this week and has been home getting better for a couple of days.
Ryker is crawling and trying to pull up onto stuff. I can't believe how fast he is growing. I giggles all the time and he makes them all smile at daycare. They tell me that he doesn't really cry or fuss, which is really nice to hear. I am glad he is adjusting well.
Summer is in full swing that is for sure. HOT and muggy out seems to be the trend. I mowed the back yard the other day, yeah that is right, I DID. Holy shit did that kick my butt. I am proud, I helped Matt out and accomplished something I hadn't before.
I am growing in my spirituality as well.... I found a church that I feel at home in and I am really enjoying this. I want to find a bible study with other moms or something that I can relate to and fit in. Maybe soon. I am reading a book called "Master Potter" which is really helping me learn about Jesus and what really relates the Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit, in a way that I can understand. I would recommend this to anyone who is trying to understand the concept. And as naive that it may sound, it is true. I didn't know a lot of what I have learned recently and I find it fascinating.
Jacob is done with school for the year and is stoked for summer. He aced the CAT test, which I am not surprised because he loves school and the challenge of a test. I am surprised however, that his school didn't mention to me personally that he is so excelled in school. Wouldn't you think they would want to let you know and say congrats or good job, or something? Don't worry school, when he is older and achieving great things, you will wish you would have noted this.
Well, I am back. Not sure how often, but back at least.
Work is really busy. My co-worker might be moving onto another job and I would be left as the sole Credit/Accounting person. That is fine, it will be crazy, but I will make it.
The kids started a new daycare and it is AWESOME!!! They are a bilingual child care center and they teach Spanish daily at four. I think this will help Jacob immensely in being able to focus on something that he is interested in. Ryker loves it and they spoil the heck out of him there.
Hannah is pretty much living full time with her dad now, due to preschool and our agreement with the divorce. It sucks. In fact, I have had a hard with it. I can barely go into her room when she is not here, without bursting into tears. She came down with strep throat this week and has been home getting better for a couple of days.
Ryker is crawling and trying to pull up onto stuff. I can't believe how fast he is growing. I giggles all the time and he makes them all smile at daycare. They tell me that he doesn't really cry or fuss, which is really nice to hear. I am glad he is adjusting well.
Summer is in full swing that is for sure. HOT and muggy out seems to be the trend. I mowed the back yard the other day, yeah that is right, I DID. Holy shit did that kick my butt. I am proud, I helped Matt out and accomplished something I hadn't before.
I am growing in my spirituality as well.... I found a church that I feel at home in and I am really enjoying this. I want to find a bible study with other moms or something that I can relate to and fit in. Maybe soon. I am reading a book called "Master Potter" which is really helping me learn about Jesus and what really relates the Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit, in a way that I can understand. I would recommend this to anyone who is trying to understand the concept. And as naive that it may sound, it is true. I didn't know a lot of what I have learned recently and I find it fascinating.
Jacob is done with school for the year and is stoked for summer. He aced the CAT test, which I am not surprised because he loves school and the challenge of a test. I am surprised however, that his school didn't mention to me personally that he is so excelled in school. Wouldn't you think they would want to let you know and say congrats or good job, or something? Don't worry school, when he is older and achieving great things, you will wish you would have noted this.
Well, I am back. Not sure how often, but back at least.
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